i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) -e.e. cummings

We took a walk through Forest Park which was absolutely beautiful. Super green and lush, energizing and refreshing. A much different landscape than my hikes at home in Santa Barbara.

I have this ritual where I pick a postcard for my brother each time I go out of town and I write to him as I am returning home. I collect these postcards from different cities around the world and place them safely in one spot at home—in a very special book of Rumi’s poetry which sits amongst several other wonderful collections on my bookshelf. This book full of postcards is my inconspicuous treasure; it is one of my several portals to my brother.

I have recently returned home from long weekend in Portland and I wrote to my brother on the plane ride home. This is what I wrote.

 Dear Bro,

I’m flying home from Portland and as always I have requested a window seat. I used to like the window seat simply because it gave me a space to rest my head other than the stranger sitting next to me, but now I like it because I can look out and imagine you flying next to me. I’m always looking for you when I’m way up here. It almost feels like my heart, my soul could leap out from this little plane window and into the skies with you. Sometimes I cry when I look out into the clouds, other times I smile. Today is one of those times when I am smiling.

I’m smiling because of where I just came from—a city that I know you would have loved. It’s not necessarily the city that I think you would have loved, but the people, the energy; the palpable warmness that people radiated, the feeling that strangers greeted you without judgment, at face value with no ulterior motives. I had so many interesting conversations in passing this weekend—on the bus, over a beer, in the hostel, on the street—and what made them so interesting were the genuine people I shared them with. It made me miss our conversations in the backyard at mom and dads. I can just imagine you now laying on the swing, stoggin’.  Sometimes I think it’s your big heart that I miss the most and it felt good to be around energy that reminded me of you, that made me feel connected to you.

There’s never enough space on these postcards. One more thing, I know you would have been so proud of cousin Kristin graduating college this weekend. I know you were there with us cheering her on from the stands.

I love you Bro, and I miss you always.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

love,

Lauren

 

i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is you’re doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

                        -e.e. cummings

Voodoo Donuts- the "Bangkok Hustle"- this is what happens when you let the lady at the counter decide which donut to get. It's a glazed donut with peanut butter, sriracha sauce, and basil. If I look scared its because I was! The verdict? As a lover of thai food and spicy peanut sauces I couldn't say no. Am I glad I tried it? Yes. Would I get it again? No.

Voodoo Donuts- the “Bangkok Hustle”- this is what happens when you let the lady at the counter decide which donut to get- it’s a glazed donut with peanut butter, sriracha sauce, and basil. The verdict? As a lover of thai food and spicy peanut sauces I couldn’t say no. Am I glad I tried it? Yes. Would I get it again? No.

We took a walk through Forest Park which was absolutely beautiful. Super green and lush, energizing and refreshing. A much different landscape than my hikes at home in Santa Barbara.

We took a walk through Forest Park which was absolutely beautiful. Super green and lush, energizing and refreshing. A much different landscape than my hikes at home in Santa Barbara.

Seasons- what beautiful colors! Right before I snapped this picture an older gentleman came up to me and said "Your smile is God's way of telling me I am exactly where I need to be". He then smiled and walked away.

Seasons- what beautiful colors! Right before I snapped this picture an older gentleman came up to me and said “Your smile is God’s way of telling me I am exactly where I need to be”. He smiled and walked away.

The reason why I went to Portland! To celebrate my cousin Kristin's college graduation!!

She is the reason why I went to Portland!!! Congrats cousin on your graduation!

Books & Beer-- no Portland visit is complete without a morning spent at Powells Bookstore followed by an afternoon at the micro breweries. Cheers!

Books & Beer– no Portland visit is complete without a morning spent at Powells Bookstore followed by an afternoon at the micro breweries. Cheers!

Thanks to the advice of foodie friends I found myself at Pok Pok for dinner. The casual, understated indoor-outdoor market type atmosphere made me feel like I had arrived in Thailand, a place I have never actually been to, but has been near the top of my list for the past few years. The food was delicious (and I imagine authentic but cant exactly say that as fact) and being that I went to dinner alone and it is a family style menu I had plenty of leftovers to last the entire weekend. This year Bon Apetit named Pok Pok #8 in the top 20 most important restaurants in America. Check it out if youre in the area.

Thanks to the advice of foodie friends I found myself at Pok Pok for dinner. The casual, understated indoor-outdoor market type atmosphere made me feel like I had arrived in Thailand, a place I have never actually been to, but could feel in my bones. The menu was family-style and the food was delicious and I imagine authentic- a much different dining experience than the thai restaurants I’m used to at home.  The leftover chicken wings washed down with a nice cold beer the next day were just as good, if not better, than the night before. This year Bon Apetit named Pok Pok #8 in the top 20 most important restaurants in America. Go- you won’t be disappointed.

2 Responses to “i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) -e.e. cummings”

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