This past Saturday I wished my brother a happy 30th from the top of the mountain. At the top of Saddlerock trail there is always a rock formation—some days it’s a yin yang symbol, others it’s a heart, or a smiley face, just once I’ve seen an om symbol. That morning I shuffled the rocks to form a big “J” in honor of my brother, Jason, who if I wasn’t calling him bro, I would call him J. This was the first time I’ve moved the rocks to form something new at the top of the mountain, and it felt good to leave this for the next hiker to enjoy, to get curious about, to perhaps even change to something that had special meaning for them. I left my favorite photo of my bro and I along with a sunflower and with those two things I also left a piece of my heart on top of that mountain. This past Saturday I could only be grounded in what I know to be certain because nothing else made much sense except that love continues from this lifetime into the next, that it transcends all boundaries and planes, and radiates in each of us, including those who have passed on. I choose to root myself in this love, today and every day.
I am now on class 13 and have had one of my best classes and one of my worst this week— perhaps mirroring the rollercoaster of emotions of the past few days. I’ve been going mostly to power vinyasa flow classes and feel strong and energized in my practice. I did a double on Sunday with two power vinyasa classes and was reminded that sometimes nothing feels quite as good as a powerful warrior pose or a “wild thing”. Tonight I went to a restorative yin class with this angel of a teacher, Deb, who oohhhs and ahhhs and sighs and moans and makes you feel so relaxed that you really could just curl up and fall asleep. She sprays lavender mist and rubs essential oils on your hands, she comes by and adjusts your legs, and shoulders, and neck. You feel taken care of, you feel loved, you feel at home. Tonight I was able to just be in my body, to come home to my body. A gift we each have—finding home in our bodies. It really is the temple that holds the infinite love, the soul-space, the place that is the same in us all, the divine.
Today Deb read this poem in class- it was my first time hearing it. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.
Be a person here.
Stand by the river, invoke the owls.
Invoke winter, then spring.
Let any season that wants to come here make its own call.
After that sound goes away, wait.
A slow bubble rises through the earth
and begins to include sky, stars, all space,
even the outracing, expanding thought.
Come back and hear the little sound again.
[Come back, and hear that call.]
Suddenly this dream you are having matches
Everyone’s dream, and the result is the world.
If a different call came there wouldn’t be any
world, or you, or the river, or the owls calling.
How you stand here is important.
How you listen for the next things to happen.
How you breathe.